First Love/Nightmare

Photo by George Shervashidze

Cherish me with cherry red lips

And worship me like a worthy opponent.

See me through blue tears and rips,

And cover me in clovers before we lose this moment.

Hide me with pride and malice.

Sink in your teeth to drink me like champagne.

Light a spark in this dark palace

And show me how to talk through the pain.

Slide the pin right under my skin,

Then pretend like the truth is not bending.

Sip me slowly, just like a holy sin.

Reassure me that this is not the ending.

Float above my throat at midnights,

Pulling out my vocal cords one by one.

Sprinkle smoke in the clearest twilights

And tell me that my sweet tongue is a gun.

Go and heal my meanest demons.

Let the magazines know and make a scene.

Push me down the stairs as a treatment,

Turn my soul into a figurine.

-Jackie

Exiled

Photo by Joyce Dias

Arrows buzz by my earlobes like hungry bees

As some hypnotized crowds chase me down the road.

The smell of my terror makes their knees weak,

And their anger feels like some cyphered code.

I am the beast they exiled from their forests.

I am the beast they summoned when they were bored.

My victims might haunt me for being honest,

But these crowds made me feel loved and adored.

Now they chase me down paths good people avoid,

And their sizzling hot words spill on me like ink.

No amount of bloodshed will fill their black voids.

Still – they try to wash me down the kitchen sink.

As I hear them tiring and running out of breath,

A dark red border appears in the distance.

Once I cross that curved line, I will lose this bet.

Will they cheer as my memory slips from existence?

-Jackie

Run Witch Run

Photo by Lucas Pezeta

The midnight arrived at my door like a treacherous whisper. 

I had been accused, but my judgement would always stay sealed. 

Disdainful warnings shot through the wood and the crystals,

And I knew they had sworn to never offer me a deal.

They held pulsating purple lighters in their twitching hands,

Swaying gently as their gilded rage built in vacant chests.

They wanted to slay me again to finally cleanse these holy lands,

And bleed me dry until their dusty town became blessed.

I hated most faces in the roaring crowd, but I knew hers,

With its stainless steel look of pure pride and undying conviction. 

With each cursed step she took, she built me a newer hearse. 

“Run, witch, run,” she shrieked, fulfilling the silent prediction. 

-Jackie

The Dream

Photo by imustbedead

Odd dreams sneak up on my subconscious when I rest,

And I shoo them away before something gets confessed.

But last night I dreamt about this old church burning.

Every screw in my stomach was twisting and turning.

There were people around it with enchanted gazes.

I knew I could find the arsonist in this place.

There was no wind, only the breaths of these watchers,

And they whispered to the flame:

“You should catch her.”

My body ached from the pure heat of that fire,

My heart ached from the pure hate they desired.

When I awoke, my skull was leaking grey brain fluid.

It was no dream at all, they were planning to do it.

-Jackie

Just A Taste

Photo by cottonbro

I got him cornered,

I got him right where I needed him.

He begged for some mercy,

But I told him this was not a sin.

Apologies, apologies…

These words always arrive too late.

You need not worry,

Vengeance will clean the dirty slate.

I got him anxious,

Trapped in between these walls.

I bet he believes me now,

He hears how they can all talk.

If you miss the warnings,

You have to face the consequences.

He knew what he did

When he ran me dry of second chances.

I crave just a taste.

So what if it breaks his bones?

There was no one to believe me.

He must suffer all alone.

-Jackie

Teeth In My Ribcage

Photo by Ruslan Rozanov

Hopelessness looms over me like a dark cloud,

And the raindrops keep washing away my humanity.

There is nothing people will remember me for,

So, I sit quietly and do not challenge gravity.

My skin is prickly and unpleasant to touch.

My eyes were once gates, but now they dig holes.

I peel off the layers of my flesh one by one,

Hoping judgements and rumors will swallow me whole.

The papers claim I let my victims bleed out,

Then lift them with my skeletal frame until they scream.

Nosy tongues say that I carry teeth in my ribcage,

It ensures that my heart stays hungry and lean.

Silence begs me to ask questions I should not know,

And I feel a wave of guilt building right in front of me.

God, I wish I never showed them that I can bite.

I am the monster they built, and I am their deity.

-Jackie

Guilty

Photo by Thirdman

I bend my neck while looking in the dusty mirror,

Trying to recall where they sank in their teeth.

The silence in my room is muffling my howls,

And my skin is a portal with nothing underneath.

I have treated these bruises a dozen times,

But the recipe suddenly slips my loud thoughts.

Did they drain me below the point of no return?

Will the next sip break me down to parts?

I hear them all scratching at the metal door,

Begging for one more taste of the forbidden.

The scars on my back ache in a horrid rhythm.

Do I fight or do I leave my soul bedridden?

I feel veins popping as the red rage spreads,

And suddenly there is no right or wrong.

Maybe I should bite back until nothing matters,

Maybe I was the beast all along.

-Jackie

Summoning The Beast

Photo by Алекке Блажин

It started with candles and a bottle of gin,

And a text from my ex begging me to come over.

I deleted the number three weeks ago

When I saw hot ashes on her pale shoulders.

I spilled all the water on her old sofa,

Swearing to never let my lips say her name.

But these candles whisper in gentle tones,

And escaping darkness is a terrible game.

The floor creaks under my weight as I break.

If I move, the night will swallow me whole.

These voices around me are getting louder.

My own voice feels like it’s only a mole.

I feel fingers tracing my shoulders with ice,

And my eyelids refuse to open up.

Low growls snake around my pale skull.

I know I will have to drink from the cup.

Still, it started with candles and one hex,

And a text from ex wishing me true peace.

I have bottled up every gram of my rage.

Tonight I will finally summon the beast.

-Jackie

Green Eyes

Photo by Khoa Võ

My hot sweat freezes the moment it touches the air,

And I am afraid to blink in case my eyeballs burst.

Those bright green irises in the woods move in pairs.

Both of my feet are glued to the grass with a curse.

I do not know how to breathe without them shrieking,

And the wind is now picking up the pace in leaps.

The door between life and death is violently creaking.

Those bright green eyes will kill me in my sleep.

-Jackie

I Will Be The Prey

Photo by Rafael Santos

The ache shoots through my trembling body,

It gets buried so deep I can barely survive.

I know I am alive because you haunt me,

But I am not sure if my love can be revived.

I was the hunter, but you took my weapons,

Humbling me in front of the crowds.

I allowed it to happen, thinking you care,

While you grew me a forest of violent doubts.

Not sure if you were avenging yourself

Or if my confidence was your last enemy.

Go and take your apologies to your grave.

I will be the prey in your shining legacy.

-Jackie